1. Just snap out of it.
It’s not that easy. The only thing I can snap out of right now are my jeans. Because I’m living in my jammy pants and eating my feelings.
2. I think you’re just hungry.
Duh. I’m always hungry. Quit reminding me.
3. If I were you, I’d be depressed too.
With friends like this, who needs a basket of kitties? I DO!
4. Here, have some heroin.
No thanks. I graduated from the D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) Program back in 1992 and Officer Kavolowski would be so disappointed in me.
5. You should start a blog.
NO! Moody Gurl already has enough competition
6. Things could be worse.
Yeah, I know. But right now I’m in the midst of a crippling depression that feels like a Honda Civic is parked on my chest. And inside that Honda Civic are all of my friends, eating burritos that they refuse to share with me.