Cry, Cry Burger Baby!

Never be afraid to cry. Crying is an important part of a balanced breakfast and life. I know some people are quite proud to proclaim that their pipes have been backed up for quite some time, but one can only hold in so much. The truth is Everybody poops and everybody cries. Deal with it.

Recently, I had a lovely cry while eating dinner at Ruby Tuesday. I had just returned to the table with a plate full from the unlimited salad bar. I sat down across from my mom and let it rain over my iceberg lettuce and macaroni salad. It was actually more of a light drizzle, but it felt good. And my mom, having been there since the birth of my tears, is so used to my public displays of emotion that she was still able to enjoy her Smoky Mountain Chicken dinner.

Ruby Tuesday is actually a wonderful public place to cry without drawing too much attention to yourself because it’s loud both audibly and visually. And almost everyone there is drunk. Blame it on their 25 oz beer specials and $5 premium cocktails. With all of these distractions, no one is going to bat a dry eye at your big salty tears. They also have great booths that offer both comfort and extra privacy.

My Ruby tears were a short, but a much-needed release. And it freed me up for some white chocolate cherry cheesecake after dinner.

I don’t remember exactly why I cried, BUT I do know why I’m crying as I write this. I just read that they’re closing many Ruby Tuesday locations throughout the country. I hope this isn’t the beginning of the end because at what other chain restaurant is a gal going to get unlimited chilled salad plates that work GREAT for soothing a puffy cry face? Not Applebee’s. That’s for sure.

However, I haven’t lost hope. I believe that we can keep our unlimited salad bar and cheddar biscuits safe by making all of this into a new restaurant promotion.  So if you’re reading this Ms. Ruby Tuesday, hit me up and we can get those locations back up and running by turning your current Ruby Tuesday Burger Road Show promotion (which is a little too Red Robin for my liking – no offense) into something no other restaurant has to offer. A promotion so unique that it’ll bring in hordes of emotionally-aware burger lovers AND encourage those who keep it all in, to let it all out in the name of a delicious deal.

We will call it, The Ruby Tuesday Burgers and Unlimited Cries! ($6.00 for 6 burgers/fries and a safe, supportive and yummy space to unabashedly cry it out) You’re welcome, America!

**Ruby Tuesday has not paid me for any of my statements above, but they should.**

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